Decision or Transition

 Life  No Responses »
Aug 282011
 

I’ve been talking a lot lately about the fact that we are sort of in a holding pattern, waiting on other people to take action that will allow us to proceed with plans in place.

If I were less of an individualist that wouldn’t be a big issue — as I suppose it is not for many people.  If you work in a large organization waiting is part and parcel of life.  If you have a routine driven life then waiting can be a routine part of life.  And goodness knows that if you are in the military — waiting seems interminable.

Those of us who avoid all of those and more can be by habit irritatingly impatient.

So, while we were walking yesterday — it was a beautiful day for a walk along lake Michigan — I was thinking about the process of change.

When you get to a fork in life’s road there are really at least TWO (2) different ways in which change happens.

  • First there is the decision about how to react to change.  Do you want it?  Do you want to resist it?  If you change, how will you change?
    This is the macro choice.  I think for many of us it looms as the huge decision about what to do.
  • But there is another “decision” — not really one choice but really many, many choices that lie ahead of you.  Those are the choices of transition.

I wonder which is most difficult.  In times of change I find that the Yes/No choice about whether I want to change is the one I stress over.  But the multitude of decisions concerning the minutia of life’s details often take far longer to work through and consume far more time.

Take for example our situation with the sale of our home.  We have talked from time to time during the last 6 years about how long we wanted to stay here.  We considered health and expenses and all those things you consider when you’re thinking about selling a house. It was a slow process. We felt no stress for a long while because it was something we were “talking” about — we weren’t really in decision making mode — it was all just talk.

When Peggy decided to retire the luxury of just “talking” about it changed.  Now it became a real choice.  We took some months and went over our options at this particular time in history; and we made a choice.  This was a good time to move on.

What we faced next proved to be a far more interesting and oft-times frustrating experience — one in which we are still mired down.  There are thousands of small decisions that need making.  I can say “things like downsizing” but to say it and do it are worlds apart.  Downsizing isn’t an entity it’s a new decision about every single item.  And many of those decisions are accompanied by emotions you never knew you had invested in a silly piece of something, a bit of kitsch, a scrap of cloth, a tool you grand father used.

Don’t get me wrong. I am 100% looking forward to the direction we are taking.  What I was not prepared for is the realization that I am sometimes someone I little know and often misunderstand.  Items I thought had no sentimental value seem quite different when faced with the option of chucking it into the trash bin.  I also am coming to realize just how much my artist’s sense of values differs from other people.  There are a lot of things I consider junk — that I am ready and rarin’ to throw away — that people keep telling me, “You aren’t throwing THAT away, are you?”

“Junk” to an artist — specially to a photographer — has a different meaning than “junk” to others.

In a morning in studio with a model I may snap 1000 images.  Of those I fully intend to throw away 95%.  But when I have the model present, and I am hoping for the slightest variation in facial expression, it’s the easiest thing to just keep tripping the shutter.  I can always throw them away — and I do.  They are not what I’m looking for.  They are of no value to me.  And on some level many of life’s possessions are just the same.

I am at my base a Christian for whom the resurrection is as real as drawing breath.  My destination has always been to be with my Savior.  Others have not always understood the path I took towards that goal but I know full well what my behavior has been and I find no conflict at all.  So, this earth has always been a strange land, and I have always been a pilgrim.  I find nothing odd about that; I find it odder that other Christians don’t always feel the same.  And when you are a pilgrim you are limited in how much of this earth you can drag along with you.

Now, if you have ever seen me travel you may be tempted to question my sense of limits.  On family vacations my wife has long teased that I take more luggage with camera gear than luggage with clothing.  And in the days when we travelled in a Ford Minivan it was always packed to the ceiling, and now when we travel in a much smaller Toyota Matrix it’s laughable how much I can get inside.

But inconsistencies aside, I am actually looking forward to shucking most of the stuff that now fills the house and getting down to our George Carlin-esque “Small Version” of our stuff.  Peggy and I are both looking forward to a more artistically centered retirement with less attention to Internet, less attention to TV, and less focus on chores needing doing around this big old place.

I’m coming to see transition as the much harder process.  And being in a limbo awaiting decisions by the city, and or the choice of having to find a different buyer for the building — that part is annoying — you cant just move forward you have to wait.

So, as I wrote a few days ago, I’m working on being ready and waiting.  ….. we’ll see how that goes…..

 

 Posted by at 10:38 am  Tagged with:

Consummable Youth Rebellion

 Life  No Responses »
Jul 202011
 

photo by Joe Szabo

Over the past 30 or so years, most people have chosen to pursue the rewards of conformity instead of the fruits of revolt. What they have been left with are ugly and stupid lives, ugly and stupid places and a planet pushed to the very edge of destruction by capitalism’s efforts to keep feeding them new promises of consumable happiness.

But the thought that one is wasting one’s life is not a cheerful one, and respectable citizens everywhere have gone to considerable lengths to avoid it. They have erected elaborate architectures of lies and self-deceptions in an attempt to persuade themselves and others that their work is not petty nonsense directed by contemptible bosses to idiotic ends, that their families are not desolate bunkers of mutual contempt and shared incarceration, that their leisure and friendships are not collections of inconsequential games and insubstantial interests, that their holidays are not banal tramps through despoliation, that the ways in which they think they avoid the common vulgarity are not entirely spurious, that their pleasures are not dreadfully small.

They cling to these illusions with ferocious desperation; but the whole house of lying ghosts and grim parodies is a fragile one, and it is threatened by the depredations of delinquency. To the extent that delinquency prevents respectable citizens from misperceiving themselves as happy and free people who are blessed with rich experiences and who continue to grow as individuals, it provokes their fury. It threatens to take away the very little they have, and to replace it with nothing. It threatens to bring them face to face with a poverty of everyday life that has been there in one form or another all along.

Since the Second World War, advanced capitalism – and the quest for contentment through consumption that it fosters – has generated a long series of consumable youth rebellions. This series has included the teds, mods, rockers, hippies, skinheads, punks, rave culture and the worlds of hip-hop and rap. Each of these has put forward its own particular array of clothes, music, drugs and cool behaviors as an authentic and ecstatic alternative to the misery of unskilled and semiskilled work and the ways of life that honest and conforming people pursue. Indeed where mainstream employment and commerce have more or less completely abandoned an area – as they have every ghetto in North America – cool culture and cool criminality may appear to be the only realistically available means to avoid poverty and obtain a sense of dignity. But none of these rebellions has marked the slightest departure from the global domination of the commodity and its logic. They have served only to assimilate young people into yet more external models of thought and action, into yet more waves of commodity production and consumption. The delinquents of today remain stuck in this pseudo-rebellious process. Consider, my friends, their sportswear, trainers, caps and jewellery; the ways in which they walk, talk, fight, fuck and get high; and their view of what makes up the good life. Do these not reveal the extent to which they are seeking to gain status and pleasure by acting out a small local variation on a few global gangster templates the dominant society has shown them?

“It probably had a little to do with the gangster films we saw. Like a gang had a lot of drugs or money. They did drugs, had the coolest cars and chicks, that kind of thing … Mostly we got it from films and those kind of things.” —Swedish heroin user.

Consider, too, their unbroken, nervous concern for the visible approval of their friends. Does this not show how the individual is subordinated to a domineering collective? For all their defiance, the delinquents essentially live much as others do. Assimilating oneself into an external image of the good life – and submitting to a collectivity – is a perfectly ordinary form of alienated existence in the existing society. The delinquents are mistaken to associate this state of affairs with autonomy, excitement, shrewdness and freedom. They may purchase some fragile self-esteem, kicks and acceptance. They may even secure some precarious means of survival. But they pay for them with the usual currency of self-alienation.

Wayne Spencer, significantfailure.blogspot.com

 Posted by at 9:00 am  Tagged with: , ,

7 Lessons from 7 Great Minds

 Life  No Responses »
Jun 232011
 

Have you ever wished you could go back in time and have a conversation with one of the greatest minds in history? Well, you can’t sorry, they’re dead. Unless of course you’re clairaudient, be my guest. But for the rest of us, we can still refer to the words they left behind.

Even though these great teachers have passed on, their words still live, and in them their wisdom. I’ve made a list of seven what I believe are some of the greatest teachings by the world’s greatest minds.

1. Realizing Your Dreams

“If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.”
- Lawrence J. Peter

In order for us to achieve our dreams, we must have a vision of our goals. Writing down our dreams and creating a list of actions helps us stick to our plan. As it’s said “if you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it”. When we turn our goals into measurable actions, we gain clarity and are able to see the necessary steps we must take in order to achieve them.

Action: Visualize a life of your wildest dreams. What did you dream of doing when you were a child? What would you do if you had a million dollars? Create a vision for your goals and start breaking them down into small actions that you can take on a day by day basis.

2. Overcoming Fear

“It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, “Always do what you are afraid to do.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best way to learn something is to dive right in to it. When we overcome our fear of failure, we learn that only those who are asleep make no mistakes. Fear is the only thing keeping us from experiencing a life of love and fulfillment. If we make a commitment to an uncompromisable quest for truth, we will realize that as we grow more into the truth, our fears start to disappear.

Action: You must define your fears in order to conquer them. Create a list of everything you’re afraid of and start facing them one at a time. Make a commitment to yourself now to not let fear rule your life.

3. Intention and Desire

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.”- Guatama Buddha

Our thoughts determine our reality. When we stop thinking about what we don’t and begin thinking about what we do want, our lives begin to transform. Instead of working against our desires and intentions, we move into alignment with them.

Action: Create a list of your intentions and desires. Wherever you go, take this list with you. Read it when you wake up and before you go to sleep.

4. Happiness

“Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances.”
- Benjamin Franklin

Happiness comes from an inner peace, understanding and acceptance of life; a perspective of truth that opens your eyes to the beauty of life all around us. Happiness cannot be achieved by external status, it must be an internal state that we realize when we see our innate perfection.

Action: Realize that happiness is a choice. In every decision you make ask yourself “how can I respond to make myself happy and fulfilled?”

5. Self Acceptance

“If a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” – Jesus

When we stop trying to be what we are not, we realize our authenticity. Before we had knowledge, we were completely authentic. We learn to use knowledge to measure and judge, which is a powerful tool we have as humans. However we create an image of perfection in our mind of what we should be, but are not. We confuse knowledge for nature. We believe in the lie of our imperfection. When we realize this we can reclaim the truth of our perfection and live in love and acceptance.

Action: Make a commitment to never go against yourself. Practice non-judgment and realize that the same part of your mind that condemns you is the same voice that caused you to take the action in the first place. We don’t even have to believe what we say to ourselves.

6. Appreciation and Gratitude

“So much has been given to me, I have not time to ponder over that which has been denied.”
- Helen Keller

How many times do we count our misfortunes rather than our blessings? When we take time to open our eyes to the miracle of life we can see the many gifts that have been given to us. Remembering all the beautiful aspects of life and all the reasons you are blessed can immediately shift our mood. We can move from sorrow and despair to appreciation and hope.

Action: Each time you find yourself complaining about something, re-direct your focus to something you are grateful for. Make a habit of transforming your awareness of troubles into an awareness of abundance.

7. The Art of Simplicity

“I made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it short.”
- Blaise Pascal

Perfection is not when there is nothing to add, but when there is nothing more to take away. As Bruce Lee once said “the height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.” True mastery of our lives is realizing the simple joys of life, removing distractions and clutter from our lives.

Action: The art of simplicity is knowing what to take away. Practice recognizing when you’re spending your time on unimportant tasks and re-focus on the important.

This list is by no means exhaustive. There are other many great teachings that I did not include here because I felt like they were already expounded on thoroughly elsewhere, such as Einstein and Gandhi’s timeless classics. There are also great teachings to be found from our parents or friends.

 Posted by at 10:00 am  Tagged with: , , , ,

60 ways to make life simple again

 Life  No Responses »
Jun 222011
 

When we were young life was easier, right?  I know sometimes it seems that way.  But the truth is life still is easy.  It always will be.  The only difference is we’re older, and the older we get, the more we complicate things for ourselves.

You see, when we were young we saw the world through simple, hopeful eyes.  We knew what we wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas.  We liked people who smiled.  We avoided people who frowned.  We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we were tired.

As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences.  At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts.  When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and a fell down.  This happened several times.  Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.

As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids.  We worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home.  We started holding grudges, playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead.  And when it didn’t work out, we lived above our means, bought things we didn’t need, and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves feel better again.

Over the course of time, we made our lives more and more difficult, and we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need.

So let’s get back to the basics, shall we?  Let’s make things simple again.  It’s easy.  Here are 60 ways to do just that:

Life is not complex.  We are complex.  Life is simple,
and the simple thing is the right thing.
- Oscar Wilde
  1. Don’t try to read other people’s minds.  Don’t make other people try to read yours.  Communicate.
  2. Be polite, but don’t try to be friends with everyone around you.  Instead, spend time nurturing your relationships with the people who matter most to you.
  3. Your health is your life, keep up with it.  Get an annual physical check-up.
  4. Live below your means.  Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.  Always sleep on big purchases.  Create a budget and savings plan and stick to both of them.
  5. Get enough sleep every night.  An exhausted mind is rarely productive.
  6. Get up 30 minutes earlier so you don’t have to rush around like a mad man.  That 30 minutes will help you avoid speeding tickets, tardiness, and other unnecessary headaches.
  7. Get off your high horse, talk it out, shake hands or hug, and move on.
  8. Don’t waste your time on jealously.  The only person you’re competing against is yourself.
  9. Surround yourself with people who fill your gaps.  Let them do the stuff they’re better at so you can do the stuff you’re better at.
  10. Organize your living space and working space.  Read David Allen’s book Getting Things Done for some practical organizational guidance.
  11. Get rid of stuff you don’t use.
  12. Ask someone if you aren’t sure.
  13. Spend a little time now learning a time-saving trick or shortcut that you can use over and over again in the future.
  14. Don’t try to please everyone.  Just do what you know is right.
  15. Don’t drink alcohol or consume recreational drugs when you’re mad or sad.  Take a jog instead.
  16. Be sure to pay your bills on time.
  17. Fill up your gas tank on the way home, not in the morning when you’re in a hurry.
  18. Use technology to automate tasks.
  19. Handle important two-minute tasks immediately.
  20. Relocate closer to your place of employment.
  21. Don’t steal.
  22. Always be honest with yourself and others.
  23. Say “I love you” to your loved ones as often as possible.
  24. Single-task.  Do one thing at a time and give it all you got.
  25. Finish one project before you start another.
  26. Be yourself.
  27. When traveling, pack light.  Don’t bring it unless you absolutely must.
  28. Clean up after yourself.  Don’t put it off until later.
  29. Learn to cook, and cook.
  30. Make a weekly (healthy) menu, and shop for only the items you need.
  31. Consider buying and cooking food in bulk.  If you make a large portion of something on Sunday, you can eat leftovers several times during the week without spending more time cooking.
  32. Stay out of other people’s drama.  And don’t needlessly create your own.
  33. Buy things with cash.
  34. Maintain your car, home, and other personal belongings you rely on.
  35. Smile often, even to complete strangers.
  36. If you hate doing it, stop it.
  37. Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother.
  38. Apologize when you should.
  39. Write things down.
  40. Be curious.  Don’t be scared to learn something new.
  41. Explore new ideas and opportunities often.
  42. Don’t be shy.  Network with people.  Meet new people.
  43. Don’t worry too much about what other people think about you.
  44. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven, and likeminded.
  45. Don’t text and drive.  Don’t drink and drive.
  46. Drink water when you’re thirsty.
  47. Don’t eat when you’re bored.  Eat when you’re hungry.
  48. Exercise every day.  Simply take a long, relaxing walk or commit 30 minutes to an at-home exercise program like the P90X workout.
  49. Let go of things you can’t change.  Concentrate on things you can.
  50. Find hard work you actually enjoy doing.
  51. Realize that the harder you work, the luckier you will become.
  52. Follow your heart.  Don’t waste your life fulfilling someone else’s dreams and desires.
  53. Set priorities for yourself and act accordingly.
  54. Take it slow and add up all your small victories.
  55. However good or bad a situation is now, it will change.  Accept this simple fact.
  56. Excel at what you do.  Otherwise you’ll just frustrate yourself.
  57. Mature, but don’t grow up too fast.
  58. Realize that you’re never quite as right as you think you are.
  59. Build something or do something that makes you proud.
  60. Make mistakes, learn from them, laugh about them, and move along.

Oh, and enjoy life’s simple pleasures.  They’re free and better than anything money can buy.  ;-)

 Posted by at 1:33 pm  Tagged with: , , , , , , ,

What It Means To Be Poor

 Humor, Images, Life  No Responses »
Jun 142011
 

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people can be.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, “How was the trip?”

“It was great, Dad.”

“Did you see how poor people can be?” the father asked.

“Oh Yeah” said the son.

“So what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father.

The son answered, “I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.”

With this the boy’s father was speechless. Then his son added, “Thanks dad for showing me how poor we are.”

Too many times we forget what we have and concentrate on what we don’t have. What is one person’s worthless object is another’s prize possession. It is all based on one’s perspective. Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for all the bounty we have, instead of worrying about wanting more.

 Posted by at 7:48 am  Tagged with: , , , ,

Black Swan – Filthy Swan

 Life  No Responses »
Dec 202010
 

It’s been a long time since I left a movie feeling like a dirty old man — and not in the good sense!  That happened to me yesterday after watching Black Swan.

I should have anticipated the film when I read the reviews.  Too often it seems that when a young actress  is spoken of as expanding her boundaries it’s code for taking on more sexually explicit roles.  I didn’t make the connection with this film but I should have.
At the outset, let me say that Natalie Portman is clearly an easy to look at actress and she truly deserves the award nominations for her portrayal of Nina in this movie.  I enjoyed HER work in this movie which I otherwise found a waste of time.

And, I was quite happy to see Barbara Hershey in the role as Nina’s mother.  It was a strong performance as an overbearing mother and one of the roles I have liked her best in since playing Mary Magdalene in The Last Temptation.

But beyond that I found the movie troubling. Admittedly I do not often watch “thrillers”  — they are ok but not my normal fare. I love movies with lots of face shots (I’m a face man from way back) and this movie had quite a few — so it’s a movie I SHOULD have liked.

Aronofsky, said he was happy to be able to film the movie in a documentary style, but I found the camera work to be quite distracting to the actual story — as a photographer myself I can appreciate that the cameraman and director want to have artistic input into the final product of the movie but somehow camerawork which distracts from the story doesn’t seem to me to be a step in the right direction. 

I’m a guy who considers himself to be in reasonably good health, so, real life hallucinations aren’t a big part of my experience, but I can appreciate the use of hallucination in the movie to further the story line.  Nina (Portman) is clearly stressed by her changing role in the dance troupe and the transitions happening within her are furthered by the device.

But I can’t say that three separate masturbation scenes (fully clothed as they were) and a lesbian cunningulus scene actually accomplished any plot advancement or did anything at all other than to appeal to the lascivious inclinations of the viewer.  Now don’t get me wrong.  I have nothing against lesbians, nor lesbian sex, nor masturbation, nor nudity, or sexuality — but these particular scenes, in this particular movie struck me was being rude, and crude, and just plain distasteful.  And I’m sure that Victor Cassel is appropriately inappropriate as the troupe director.  Dancer’s, actresses and women in general have been preyed on sexually by powerful men for centuries — it’s not his groping of her body that I find troublesome — it’s the way this movie portrays it.  Aronofsky is not glorifying it, he is not exaggerating it, he is not minimizing it — but he puts the viewer in the role of smarmy voyeur — even as he uses that same camera tactic to put Nina in the same role as she voyeuristically watches Thomas groping Lily in the wings of the darkened theater late at night.

All the things that Aronofsky does in this movie I have seen in other movies — and enjoyed within the context of the movie. In isolation some or all of them might be distasteful to many people, but when done well they further the story, give the viewer greater insight into the characters and can be quite moving.

Portman is a grown woman — with a wonderful career ahead of her.  I’m sure she’ll be lauded for her portrayal in this movie.  But I have to tell you that when I walked away from Black Swan I wasn’t thinking about how wonderful her acting was, nor the story, nor the roles of any of the other cast.

I  was wondering if what I had really watched was a glimpse of the world of adults through the eyes of  a pedophile — That bothered me.

 Posted by at 8:27 am  Tagged with: ,

Do It Anyway

 Life  No Responses »
Dec 192010
 

Positive people often find themselves beating their head against seemingly immovable objects.  I found this and wanted to pass it on.

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are honest, people may cheat you.
Be honest anyway.

If you find happiness, people may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.
It never was between you and them anyway”.

- Mother Teresa

 Posted by at 7:23 am  Tagged with: , , , , ,

75 Ways To Stay Unhappy Forever

 Life  No Responses »
Dec 172010
 

Dale Carnegie once said, “It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.  It’s what you think about.”

I don’t think anyone could say it any better than that.  I’ve watched so many friends search tirelessly for happiness by changing jobs, moving to new cities, pursuing intimate relationships, and tweaking all sorts of other external factors in their lives.  And guess what?  They’re still unhappy.  Because they spend all of their time and money adding positive externals to their lives when their internals are still in the negatives.

So with that in mind, here are 75 ways to stay unhappy forever.  Of course, I would highly recommend you read each bullet point and then move swiftly in the opposite direction.

  1. Dwell on things that happened in the past.
  2. Obsess yourself with all the things that might happen in the future.
  3. Complain about problems instead of taking the necessary steps to resolve them.
  4. Fear change and resist it.
  5. Work hard, do your best and then condemn yourself for not achieving perfection.
  6. Belittle yourself.
  7. Hang out with other people who belittle you.
  8. Try to control everything and then worry about the things you can’t control.
  9. Lie to yourself and those around you.
  10. Keep doing the same thing over and over again.
  11. Be lazy and follow the path of least resistance.
  12. Hold onto anger.  Never forgive anyone.
  13. Always be right.  Never let anyone else be more right than you.
  14. Compare yourself unfavorably to those who you feel are more successful.
  15. Let small issues snowball into big problems.
  16. Never learn anything new.
  17. Never take responsibility for your own actions.
  18. Blame everyone around you.
  19. Don’t ask for directions and don’t ask questions.
  20. Don’t let anyone help you.
  21. Quit when the going gets tough.
  22. Be suspicious.  Trust no one.
  23. Get four hours of sleep every night and convince yourself that it’s enough.
  24. Never throw anything way.  Even if you don’t use it, hold onto it.
  25. Say “yes” to everyone.  Fill all your time with commitments.
  26. Try to be everyone’s friend.
  27. Multitask, multitask, multitask!  Do everything at once.
  28. Never spend any time alone.
  29. Don’t help others unless you have to.  Do only the things that benefit you directly.
  30. Hang out with people who complain about everything.
  31. Focus on what you don’t want to happen.
  32. Fear the things you don’t fully understand.
  33. Always seek external validation before you consider yourself good enough.
  34. Take everything and everyone in life seriously.
  35. Spend your life working in a career field you aren’t passionate about.
  36. Focus on the problems.
  37. Think about all the things you don’t have.
  38. Read or watch lots of depressing news from broadcast media.
  39. Set lofty goals for yourself and never do anything to achieve them.
  40. Never exercise.
  41. Only eat junk food and fried food.
  42. Never check-up on your health.
  43. Setup your lifestyle so it revolves around money.
  44. Spend more than you earn and rack up lots of financial debt.
  45. Don’t say what you mean.  Don’t mean what you say.
  46. Frown.
  47. Never tell anyone how you feel or what you’re thinking.
  48. Make sure everything you do impresses someone else.
  49. Always put your own needs on the back burner.
  50. Get involved in other people problems and make them your own.
  51. Make others feel bad about themselves.
  52. Watch TV for several hours every day.
  53. Gamble often.
  54. Stay in the same place.  Don’t travel.
  55. Don’t play, just work.
  56. Let your hobbies go.
  57. Let your close relationships go.
  58. Never finish what you start.
  59. Take everything personally.
  60. Do lots of drugs.  Drink lots of alcohol.
  61. Never say, “I’m sorry.”  Never say, “I love you.”
  62. Don’t work hard at anything.
  63. Always wait until the last minute.
  64. Believe that, no matter what, you are entitled to things.
  65. Let others make decisions for you.
  66. Remember the insults.  Forget the compliments.
  67. Let it all bottle up inside.
  68. Rely on others for everything.
  69. Fail to plan.
  70. Don’t dream.
  71. Don’t think about the future at all.
  72. Always disregard other people’s opinions and suggestions.
  73. Make promises you can’t keep.
  74. Don’t decide on anything, ever.
  75. Just keep going and going and going.  And never ever stop.

And now that you know what not to do, let me tell you a secret about happiness.  Nobody is happy all of the time.  It’s perfectly normal to experience considerable fluctuations in your level of happiness from day to day, month to month, and even year to year.

In fact, according to a recent scientific study, overall levels of happiness decline from one’s teens until one’s 40s and then pick up again until they peak in one’s early 70s.  So the chances are that your happiest days are yet to come.  Hopefully that gives you something to smile about.

 Posted by at 11:11 am  Tagged with: , ,
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